Rome already feels like home!!

The first time I came to Rome 4 years, I knew that I was going to live here one day. It's weird, because I'm not a city person whatsoever, but I feel at home here, and I did from the moment the plane touched down. And I didn't expect to feel so close to my fellow ESM'ers this soon. We're like a little family already. We joke around with each other constantly and aren't afraid to act completely crazy. Especially Nia and I. For those of you who don't know, Nia Hunt went to the same university as I did, and now we're both at the ESM. I sometimes feel like we're truly living up to the "crazy American" stereotype. We're definitely the loudest ones here, and laugh outrageously all the time. It's so interesting to see so many cultures coming together and interacting. It's like an allegory for the universal Church - people from all over coming together for the common goal of serving Christ.

On Tuesday, we all went to St. Peter's together for the first time. As Nia put it so well, when you walk in there, everything just makes sense. It was crazy to be back. What an incredibly beautiful, holy place. We were able to go down to the tombs of the Pope's as well, and praying in front of the tomb of JPII, as well as that of St. Peter. Whoa...

Nia and I took a beautiful walk down to St. Peter's at night. I had never seen it lit up before. Amazing. We hung out in the square and talked for a long time, and then picked up some gelato at Old Bridge, arguably the best place in the city. So good! I'm addicted.

On Wednesdy, we hung out at the San Lorenzo, which is the youth center that JPII houses, and where the World Youth Day cross resides. The people who work there are amazing, and we'll be doing alot of work there throughout the year, so it was great to get to finally meet them.

Afterward, a few of us hit the city. We went into a random church, and it turns out that St. Philip Neri is buried there! We continued on and went to Piazza Navona, one of the most famous squares in Rome. It is filled with shops, restaurants, churches, and fountains. There are always street performers and artists entertaining the masses.

We've been playing alot of cards at the ESM, and it gets crazzzzyyyy! We played this game called Logretto, and people were screaming and running around everywhere. We definitely feel comfortable around each other!

Tomorrow we leave for Assisi! Right now we're having our opening mass. Gotta go! I'll pray for you all!!! :)

Seeking the Heart of Christ, in the heart of the Church,

Eric

Bongiorno from Roma!!!

I made it! And what a crazy adventure it was...but definitely blessed!

So my parents and I left on the morning of Saturday the 25th. I was flying out of JFK in New York, so they drove me up there. My aunt works for Delta and was able to get me a cheap flight, the only catch being that I was on standby. So we drove up there, through the crazy NYC traffic, and made it to the airport. After checking my baggage and all that fun stuff, it was time to go through security. So I said goodbye to my parents for what I thought would be the last time. The Lord had other plans!

I went to my gate, and all of the employees had been telling me I had an excellent, almost guaranteed in fact, chance of getting on the plane. So I wasn't worried at all. I saw my name on the standby list, and I was near the very bottom. More and more people were making it on to the plane, but I still thought nothing of it. Eventually, only one other girl and I were on the standby list, and there was one spot left. A minute later, they called my name to come and check in. I went up to the desk, and the guy was like "Yay, you got the last seat!...Oh wait, nevermind I made a mistake, you're not on." So that was kind of a bummer. I called my parents, who had waited at the airport, knowing this was a possibility. So I ended up seeing them about an hour later, rather than many months. We got a hotel, went out for an excellent NY pizza, and just hung out and went to bed.

After mass on Sunday morning, we decided to try our luck at traveling into the city. As always, the traffic was out of control. It took us about an hour to get to the ferry for the Statue of Liberty. When we got there, we decided we probably didn't have enough time to go over, so we decided to walk around the area instead. There was a nice little park with a fort from the Revolutionary War, so we visited here first. Then we trekked into the heart of the city. After turning down Broadway, we saw signs for Ground Zero, so we decided to go there. I had been there once before, about 3 years ago, but I had forgotten the indescribable feeling of entering that space. Crazy. There was a beautiful memorial to the firefighters, which I missed last time.

After walking around this past sight of destruction and future sight of a beautiful memorial, we found a really cool area right down by the river. There were restaurants and shops, and a tree-lined walkway that skirted the water. So we decided to just grab burgers and eat down here. After hanging out for a bit, we realized that the walkway would lead us back to exactly where we started, by the ferry. So we followed this all the way back, until the Statue of Liberty was directly across from us.

By now it was almost 2, so we hopped back in the car and headed to the airport. This time, all I needed to do was go through security, so I had tons of time. I hung out with my parents for a few hours, and then we had to say goodbye for real this time. Not fun at all. But as my mother texted me, seconds before I took off, "You are not flying alone. Your holy Mother and her Son are with you!" A infinitely comforting reminder.

Needless to say, I made my flight!!! The man that I sat beside, Carlo, was from Rome, but spoke English, and he was extremely interesting. We ended up talking for most of the flight, which definitely cut in to my sleep time, but it was worth it. I slept an hour or two, and when I woke up, the map on the screen informed me that the dark expanse below me was France! And soon after, as the sun broke the horizon, Italy was visible several miles below!!

After landing an hour early, I got my luggage and waited for someone from the ESM to pick me up. Eventually I ran in to Helen, one of the women who works there. She's from Australia, and is super awesome. Nia arrived shortly after. I can't describe how good it was to see her!! Seeing that Regina Angelorum sweatshirt in the middle of Italy made my heart smile.

We grabbed a taxi and literally FLEW to the ESM. If you didn't know, the Italians + driving = a dangerous combination. On the way we passed by the Hotel Gelsomino, where the wonderful Spring 09 Austria crew all stayed, just a year and a half ago. So many memories came flooding back in that instant. And shortly after that, the ESM came into view!! My home for the next year! It's beautiful.

Immediately after entering, I got to meet 2 of my fellow students, Daniel from Ohio and Natalia from Columbia. Crazyyy!! We had mass at noon, followed by lunch, during which I met Bernadette from Australia, Juan from Miami, and Adela from Nicaragua. The rest of the day was free, so we did what any normal Roman would do - went to St. Peter's, and then got gelato!!!

It's weird - I've been here before, but it feels different this time. I think when coming as a tourist, I had the mentality of "try to cram seeing 20496 things into the shortest time possible," whereas now it has a feeling of permanence to it all. I don't have to see everything now, because it will still be there tomorrow.

We went to the San Lorenzo, a youth center started by JPII, where we will be doing a lot of work. The chapel there houses the World Youth Day cross! We got to meet the staff and talk with them. They're from all over as well - England, Australia, Belgium...Rome is such a crazy place.

The rest of the evening consisted of filling out paperwork that will ensure that we can stay here for the year. Nia kept falling asleep and I'd have to poke her with my pen.

First day in Rome. I don't really know how I feel. I'm excited, anxious, blessed, awestruck, let's be honest, terrified. But I know that I was called to this place, and that God will use every single experience, small or large, to bring about His plan for my life. I just pray that I can stay out of His way.

I pray that you are all doing well. Please pray for me.

Seeking the Heart of Christ, in the heart of the Church,
Eric

Last day!

My last day at home. I was trying to contemplate what I could fit into a day. And then I realized, I don't want my last day to be some crazy, hectic, tornado of insanity. I just want to "be."

I tried to just "be" all morning. I went to mass, hung out at home a bit. And I was doing pretty well at "being" too, until the incredibly ridiculous reality of my Visa fiasco began to weigh down on me. Was it going to come in time?! Only God knew. It had been six weeks. Six weeks, when they told me two. And now, the day before I leave, I still did not have it in my hand. I was actually surprisingly calm and unworried, until I called the Italian Consulate in Pittsburgh, and the lady was freaking out that I hadn't received it yet. Needless to say, that didn't really put me at ease. She recommended that I go to the post office to see if there was ANYTHING they could do to see if the Visa had been shipped, and to get it to me asap. So I hung up and was preparing to leave for the post office. My heart began to race, for the question I had been avoiding for the past few weeks finally flooded into my mind. What if I don't get it in time?

Just about the time my anxiety was skyrocketing, my mom walks out of the laundry room. She comes into the kitchen and says, "Look at this." She was holding a small crucifix, one that would attach to the end of a rosary. I took it, and, looking at it, realized I had never seen it before. Neither had she. I asked her where it came from, and she said it had come out of the washing machine. I figured it must have been in someone's pocket and fallen out. But she informed me that she was only washing the whites, and that there was nothing with pockets in there. I turned the crucifix over, and on the back was inscribed the word "Fatima." Now you may not know this about me, but I'm semi-obsessed with Fatima - the place where the Blessed Virgin Mary appeared to 3 children in 1917. Ever since I learned about it as a small child I've had an attraction to it, which has developed into a devotion to Our Lady of Fatima over the years. In fact, I just finished a book written by Sister Lucia, one of the visionaries of Fatima, and it kind of changed my life. So even in the past week my love for Fatima has grown. Once I saw this crucifix, I knew that Our Lady had everything under control. So I left to go to the post office. I didn't even have the tracking number for the package, so I didn't know what good this trip was going to do. I walked in and told the lady my situation. About half way through, she interrupted me and exclaimed, "I have it!" It took me a second to process, and then I was like, "What?! You have it?" "Ya," she said, "I was just about to send it out, but you beat me to it." I was basically jumping up and down as she handed me my long-awaited Visa, and I went home to share the amazing news with my mom. Within only a few minutes of receiving the crucifix, I had also received my Visa. A true miracle of Fatima, right in my own home! I can say one thing for sure, that crucifix is not leaving my side during the next year! Mama has got an eye out for me. Gotta love her :)

Several other things went on throughout the day: alot of hugs, many goodbyes, the start and conclusion of my packing, some last-minute trampoline jumping, time with family and friends, and just "being." It was quite a normal day, and if I wasn't leaving tomorrow, I'm sure it would blend in with most other days at home. And that's exactly what I wanted. A normal day, doing normal things. I'm sure I won't have many of those this next year, so it was nice to have just one more.

I guess the next time I post, I'll be in Rome. Wow. God is so good. Our Lady is so good.

Our Lady of Fatima, you've made it clear that you're here for me. I'm dedicating this year to you. Be my guide and protectress along the journey. Bless all of your children throughout the world, and bring us only ever to your Son.

Ciao for now! Next time, from Roma!!!

Seeking the Heart of Christ, in the heart of the Church,
Eric

Preparing for the Journey

3 days. In 3 days, I'll be sitting in my new home. Not having ever been there before, it's quite impossible to know what to expect. What I do know is that it will be somewhere in Rome, Italy, about a 10 minute walk from the Vatican, in a hotel which houses the Emmanuel School of Mission. In 3 days I'll finally get to meet my 20 other companions who will accompany me on this adventure for the next year. They will be from far and wide, with vastly different experiences from myself. Those from England, Ireland, or Australia will be native English-speakers. Those from Asia, Europe, South America, heck maybe even Antarctica (?) will come with various degrees of English proficiency. All from different cultures and upbringings. A true melting pot if there ever was one. But we will all be united in one thing. In faith, in purpose, in love of Jesus Christ. In the desire to spread His message and love to the ends of the earth. To make disciples of all nations. This common bond brings us all to the heart of the Church, to be formed in a missionary spirit and to be drawn deeper into the love of God. We will live together, learn together, laugh and probably cry together, hurt together, be stretched and molded together, serve together, and most of all seek God in every single moment of this entire year, together.

But before I get there, I've got a lot to do. Trying to prepare in any way I can, brushing up on some last minute Italian, possibly starting to pack, (nah, that can wait until the night before). Oh, and awaiting that pesky Visa which has eluded me for the past 6 weeks.

As excited as I am, it's hard to go. It finally hit me about 2 weeks ago, lying in bed one night: "I'm ACTUALLY going." And then my next thought was: "What the HECK am I doing?!" When I first felt called to the ESM and decided to go, I was thinking only about the awesome-ness that was about to ensue. I never really took into account all that I was giving up in order to go. An amazing family, who I can never thank enough for their support. So many incredible friends, whether from home, from Franciscan, from CHWC, and so many other places. I'm comfortable here. I've been comfortable here for too long. It's time for me to step out of my comfort zone. If we're comfortable, we're not growing. I want to be stretched beyond my limits, further then I ever believed I could go, for only then can I truly live out the Gospel call. Christ calls us to give everything, not just what we're comfortable with. Everything. I recently came across a quote from a saint that said something to the effect of: "Attaining the Kingdom of Heaven is going to take every ounce of passion you've got." That is what I want to do, and what God is calling me to do in Rome. To give every ounce of passion I've got; to die to myself fully, in order for Him to use me as He wills.

I'm one of those people at Franciscan that was like "Ohhhh, I just love it here. Everything is perfect and roses and butterflies, and I never want to leave, ever." So I had been planning for awhile just to stay for grad school, more to prolong leaving than anything else. But God had other plans. He completely took that desire from my heart, and by the end of last semester, I was ready to leave. I knew that I was not supposed to stay, for God had other plans for my future. So instead of being a hot mess at graduation, like I expected myself to be, I was actually just really really happy.

But, as I said goodbye to all of my remaining friends in Steubenville yesterday, the tears that were stayed during graduation finally began to flow. I know that I'm doing God's will, but that doesn't make leaving any easier.  Many of these amazing, loving, Christ-filled people, who have been such an inspiration to me and an aid in my own faith journey, I may never see again. I thank you all. You mean more to me than you'll ever know.

I know the goodbyes will only continue until this Saturday. But if there's one thing that I've learned recently, it's to focus not on endings, but on beginnings. This is a crazy new beginning in my life, one filled with uncertainty, for who knows what the future holds? God does. And that fact alone is enough for me, because, as He has promised, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). I will trust in this promise as I go forth into the unknown. For honestly, what would life be without a little uncertainty? We'd be bored out of our minds! Let's trust in God's promise as we live out the exciting uncertainty that we face every day.

I'm starting this blog in hopes that, by sharing how God is working in my life, you may come to see how truly awesome He is, and thus come to love Him more. For if He can use me to do anything for His Kingdom, He really does deserve an excessive amount of Glory. You see, I'm not the best at yielding to His will. Lord, may You use this blog for whatever purpose You may have, bless all those who read it with Your protection and peace, and unite us all in Your love until we meet again.

Until then, see you in the Eucharist!!!

Seeking the Heart of Christ, in the heart of the Church,
Eric